Every time a hamburger looks into my eyes,
I forget all of my sadness and the Happy Meal prize.
'Cuz I'm a starving motherfucker who wants much bigger thighs,
Get so horny when a onion ring gets fucked by a fry.

What can I do? I love you, I'd hump you, it's cool.
I just don't care what they say.
(BURGER BABY)
Know what I'll do: I love you, I'll hump you, it's cool,
And we'll be happy that way.
(BURGER BABY)

I'm the kinda lady who will get down and spread.
Spray that shit all over me till Carl Junior is dead.
Uh, the ketchup, that is--just paint my space-titties red,
And grab a condom so your condiments don't spill on the bed.

Weepin' like a bitch one night, I just couldn't stand it!
Knocked up with a burger baby, and I just hadn't planned it.
Called up Smokehouse for cash, they said, "We don't understand it!"
I said "BURGER ABORTION: I DON'T ASK IT I DEMAND IT!"

What can I do? Can't kill you--I love you. I do!
I'll just raise you as my son.
(BURGER BABY)
Know what I'll do--won't kill you, I love you. I do!
And you'll be my only one.
(BURGER BABY)